Hotel Personafornia 

Verse 1
In a dark Crown courtroom, warm debt on the air,
Smell of fresh ink and contracts rising through legal snare.
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light,
My head grew heavy, my sight grew dim,
I checked my papers that night.

Verse 2
There she stood in the doorway,
Of the Registrar’s inn,
I was thinking to myself,
“This could be Heaven—or it’s mammon’s sin.”
Then she lit up the candle,
And she showed me the page,
There were voices down the hallway,
I thought I heard them say…

Chorus
Welcome to the Hotel Personafornia,
Such a royal disguise (such a debtor disguise),
Such a legal surprise.
Plenty of room at the Hotel Personafornia,
Any time of year (any time of year),
You can register here.

Verse 3
Their minds are debtor-twisted,
They got the Crown’s flush games,
They got a lot of pretty, pretty tokens,
They call by legal names.
How they dance in the courtroom,
Sweet legal debt sweat,
Some dance to remember,
Some dance to forget.

Bridge
So I called up the Barrister,
“Please bring me my fines,”
He said, “We haven’t had free grace here
Since before Adam’s time.”
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of debt,
Just to hear them say…

Chorus
Welcome to the Hotel Personafornia,
Such a royal disguise (such a debtor disguise),
Such a legal surprise.
They livin’ it up at the Hotel Personafornia,
What a nice arrest (what a debtor’s test),
The House owns the rest.

Verse 4
Mirrors on the filings,
The pink slip on ice,
And she said, “We are all just prisoners here,
Of our birth-bond device.”
And in the master’s chambers,
They gathered for the feast,
They stab it with their fountain pens,
But they just can’t kill the beast.

Outro
Last thing I remember,
I was running for the door,
I had to find the passage back
To the grace I knew before.
“Relax,” said the Crown Clerk,
“We are programmed to deceive,
You can check out any time you like,
But you can never leave….”